2015-02-23

Sexuality is fragile

There once was a peach tree, in the garden behind the house of a man. He was very fond of the tree, because the peaches were so beautiful. That means those which were left by the birds and insects. The man, being kind of a genius, though long about the problem. Then, he got the idea to build a greenhouse around it. It did not take long and next spring saw the tree behind glasses. Even the air got filtered such that no dirty insect could touch the precious tree. The peach tree looked more beautiful than ever and the man could hardly wait until fall. But the disappointment was huge, when he started to harvest the results of his effort.

There was a man, who loved a woman. She got pregnant and gave birth to a baby boy. The man was so happy that he invested all his fortune into a Stradivari for his precious son, which got a place of honor in the home. Every day the boy passed by the pedestal on which the violin was set. Playing with it was out of question, a Stradivari is not a toy. To avoid any temptation, every literature about how to play a violin was off-limit. The boy was told that the violin would be his on his wedding day. Soon the young man became engaged to an equally nice girl and they married a little while after. On the wedding night the young man took his violin into his hand and tried the requested piece written by Paganini.

Do you think i'm talking about peaches and playing the violin?


The facts

  • british children are now confined to 10% of the space that were roamed freely in the 1960's.
  • Denmark's provinces have a birth rate of just 1.6 per couple.
  • A common problem in german marriages is the missing sex.
  • Japanese teenagers don't leave the parental nest.
  • The only word for sex in english is rape.
  • Women think that men are not even entitled to ask them out on a date.
  • Women can decide in hindsight that the consensual coitus has been in fact a rape.
  • Consent requires a written contract on some american campus.
  • Teenagers are terrified before the debut.
  • Being a virgin is both a virtue and a serious disadvantage in dating.
  • Incarcerating 5-year olds for kissing 4-year olds, calling it sexual assault.
  • Visual sexual aggression is a recognized term.

The question

Why do we assume that at the magical age of 18, everybody knows everything there is to know about sex and how to do it?

The horror

What if we are really messing with the sexuality of our children? We are putting guilt and shame into their heads instead of a good measure of how to express consent. They are not learning how to say yes  and no, and how to accept an answer. Body contacts are avoided from early age, kindergarten teachers, fathers and others keep a professional distance to children, so no child learns to appreciate intimacy. The only relationship is competition, the more aggressive the better.

Could it be that we completely lost it? 

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